Hi there!

I’m Tim. I am a psychotherapist who specializes in helping people reclaim their lives by learning to trust their instincts and values, gain clarity about the kinds of relationships and ways of living that suit them best, and feel more confident in themselves and their decisions.

My approach to therapy

A relationship that “gets” you

I’ve been on both sides of the couch. From this I know that therapy is not a process of “fixing” someone. You are not a toaster or a motor vehicle. Instead, the best work happens when we work together.

Why is a strong relationship so important to making therapy effective? Because people often begin the process filled with shame or embarrassment about their struggles. You can’t – and shouldn’t – just trust me with these things because I’m “the therapist.” I assume your trust is hard to earn, and because of that, I work hard to earn it.

With an alliance where you feel both “seen” and understood, we can address whatever it is that’s been hard for you to figure out on your own.

An equal partnership

A confession: even though I possess a professional license backed by training and experience, I don’t actually know everything. In my practice, I consider you the foremost authority on your life. This means that I strive to make my expertise a tool for us to use together – another head to think with, if you like. While I might offer suggestions from time to time, I believe that advice and opinions are better left to newspaper columns or your parents.

Flexible goals

People often start therapy without knowing exactly what they want to get out of it. They just know that they don’t like the way that they are feeling or acting or both. This is fine place for us to start.

There might be immediate concerns to address, such as difficulty getting through everyday responsibilities, disruptive conflict with people in your life, or substance use that feels unhealthy or dangerous. At the same time, you might also be experiencing chronic issues with frustrating and painful patterns in your relationships or harsh beliefs about yourself that feel old and resistant to change.

Whether you are seeking shorter-term solutions or more substantial transformation, I will collaborate with you to develop goals that suit your needs. I will also help us revisit your goals along the way to make sure you are getting what you want out of therapy.

Manageable intensity

The emotions and experiences people bring to therapy can be intense, even overwhelming. Many people beginning therapy are concerned that if they pop the cork on that stuff, they may not be able to contain it again. But without facing issues squarely, it’s hard to make meaningful change. What to do?

 My approach is to break down what I call “radioactive” material into manageable bits. By taking things slowly, one piece at a time, it is possible to tame the power of thoughts or experiences that once seemed unbearable.

A few things I believe in…

I am a human being as well as a therapist and my values inform and motivate my work.

Authenticity

People feel and do their best when their external life and actions are aligned with their internal values and identities. Yet many of us end up in careers, relationships, or lives that don’t fit our sense of ourselves. Even worse, the mismatch can lead us to feel ashamed and disappointed with ourselves. Fear of failure or humiliation can intimidate us away from risking to manifest our truest selves. My valuing of authenticity is part of why I became a therapist, and in that role, I am excited to help clients face this challenge. Together, we can get clarity on how things would look if you were right with yourself, and then cultivate your courage to take action.

Connection

Loneliness undermines life’s joys and potential. When trusted others see and accept us, we feel more empowered to be ourselves. Accomplishments and triumphs are more delicious when we can share them. Likewise, our grief and disappointments can become more bearable when we don’t have to face them alone. Perhaps most powerfully, relationships give us an opportunity to live out human values of love and integrity. We don’t necessarily need a lot of these relationships, just enough of the right kind. It hurts my heart to see people who feel lonely and long for connection. For clients who feel this way, which is possible even for people who have many relationships, I help identify patterns that inhibit intimacy and how to disrupt them.

Meaning

Pain – mental, physical, spiritual – inevitably intrudes on our life plans for personal happiness. Finding meaning in those losses, disappointments and frustrations can keep them from developing into suffering. Meaning gives us the power to sweep aside a simple life balance sheet of “wins” and “losses” and instead integrate highs and lows into an appreciation for life’s texture and complexity. Doing this is never easy, but offers unique potential for new directions and surprising rewards. When I have struggled in life, exploring meaning has often helped me see more clearly what I need to do, and I strive to help my clients do this as well.

Respect

In a culture that continues to oppress people for any number of reasons – race, gender identity, economic status, age, religious beliefs, to name a few – I work to make my practice comfortable for anyone who seeks help from me. The foundation of this is a stance of my unconditional respect toward you. In our work together, this may mean that I broach important differences between us to uncover any apprehensiveness and speak to concerns you might have. Moreover, I recognize that oppression exists and leads to many of the issues – depression, anxiety, trauma – that lead people to seek therapy. When that is the case, my goal is not only to help you feel better, but also to help you increase your empowerment. And I take responsibility for obtaining consultation or education about an identity or issue when that’s what I need in order to better understand and support you.

Are you ready to find the change you’ve longed for?