Confidence & Self-Respect
When you are uncomfortable in your own skin, tension seldom feels far away. There's an urge to monitor and question everything you say and do. You envy — even resent — those people who look so easily self-assured. Being around other people, especially the confident kind, makes things much, much worse.
Most people you know have probably felt this at some point in their lives (whether or not they admit it). If these feelings persist, they can intimidate you from facing the challenges that lead to life’s rewards. Even worse is the demoralizing sense that you are letting yourself down.
Some indications that these feelings might be a troublesome pattern:
Frequent worry that other people will think you're dumb or boring -- or else, if you speak up too much, that you're egotistical and stuck-up.
Distrust in your ability to make decisions, large or small. You can't imagine how people can just "trust their gut" when the way forward is unclear.
You feel like you don't have any special talents, knowledge or skills, and you worry about other people finding this out.
Confrontation or conflict fills you with dread, especially if you have to stand up for yourself without anyone to back you up.
It feels like everyone else is more self-assured and successful than you are.
In conversations, you find yourself trying to hide, for fear of being exposed.
Many situations leave you feeling embarrassed for yourself.
Starting or following through on new pursuits never seems to go very well.
How can therapy help me feel more confident?
Although these feelings are very real, they are almost always based on distorted perceptions of ourselves and the world. They often emerge at such a young age that it's hard to even imagine feeling or seeing things differently. As your therapist, I can to help you:
Understand how the beliefs and feelings behind low self-esteem commonly develop.
Gain insight into how anxiety in the face of uncertainty leads to self-defeating beliefs and strategies.
Treat “mistakes” as feedback, instead of beating yourself up over them.
Uncover strengths and abilities hiding in your life experiences.
Build up the courage to take smart risks.
Trust and believe in yourself, even in the face of others’ doubts.
Engage in confrontation and conflict without losing your composure.